A Man Who Wants Nothing
by oksofia
Summary: Complete. Clark is offered the chance to give up his powers permanently. After living out his heart's desire under the Black Mercy, it might be an offer he just can't refuse. SM/LL, SM/humanity.
1. Suppression

_Official disclaimer:__I don't own anything that DC Comics does.  
Personal disclaimer: This story is my love letter to Superman, and is a product of reading All-Star Superman, every Superman/Batman back issue I could get a hold of, and dude, even Wednesday Comics – all of which reminded me of exactly *why* I love him. I don't know how much pull Superman has in the JL fandom, but if this happens to be your kind of thing, enjoy! I know I did._

**Chapter 1: Suppression **

**

* * *

**

_**Lois**__: Just think what it would have been like for him if he'd lived. First finding out he wasn't...well, you, and then his home, his whole world destroyed in one day. Could you imagine?**  
Superman**__: Yeah, I think I can. He'd probably feel a lot like I did when I learned I wasn't human. You don't know who you are, where you belong, why you're here._

- "Bizarro's World," Superman: The Animated Series

* * *

He dreamt about his family again last night. Not Ma and Pa. The _other_ family. The one in which his glamorous and talented wife showered him with affection in thanks for his unwavering support. The one in which his gruff, worldly father didn't get along with him because their convictions were at loggerheads. The one in which his son looked up at him adoringly, his young eyes gleaming underneath his lashes like two starry amethysts.

Clark woke up drenched in sweat. He put his head in his hands and tried to steady his breathing. Mongul had ambushed him with the Black Mercy over a month ago, and while anger had carried him through the first couple of weeks after it all happened, the anger was fading, and it couldn't blunt his sadness any more.

His heart's desire. His family. His farm. His ordinariness – all wrenched from him. And now that he was awake again, and back in the real world, he wondered if it would be enough.

Afraid of dreaming about them again, Clark turned over and saw that it was almost six in the morning anyway. He had time to duck into Smallville before work. Helping Pa milk the cows and having a stack of Ma's buckwheat pancakes would make him feel better. It always did.

--

"Did you hear about the Martins, Martha?" Jonathan Kent asked his wife as he came into the house. Clark was right behind him, dusting off his hands on his jeans. He grinned. He loved listening to his parents gossip over breakfast – he always had.

"You mean how they're planning on moving to Florida? I heard." Martha set a mound of pancakes on the table and took some time to beam at Clark before returning her attention to Jonathan. "They're thinking of selling their land in smaller plots."

"Maybe you should look into buying some of it, Pa," Clark suggested, "Their farm borders ours – it's a golden opportunity." They washed up and sat down to the breakfast. "I can see what sort of price they're asking for before I go into work," he offered eagerly. He was enamored of the idea of expanding the farm.

Jonathan looked up from his plate. "I don't know, Clark. These days I think that it would be better to just follow Phil Martin to Florida rather than buy up his land here in Kansas."

Martha let out a laugh at this. "Think about, sweetheart," Jonathan insisted, "Us, retired. Me, in one of those floral shirts. Wouldn't you like that?" They both chuckled at the thought.

But Clark didn't join it. "You can't be serious, Pa."

"Son, I certainly can't move to Florida and _not_ wear that kind of clothing." More laughter.

"…About leaving the farm."

"Oh, I don't know, Clark." Jonathan scratched the back of his head. "I would hate to leave the farm, you know that. But your mother and I can't run it forever. I should start trying to get used to the idea of selling this place and moving on."

"But you've got me," Clark said in a small voice.

"You've got other responsibilities, sweetheart." Martha put her hand on her son's arm. "Your destiny is bigger than this farm. It would be a shame for you to use your gifts here instead of places where they're needed more."

He suddenly remembered the view from his bedroom window of a field of cornstalks rustling under the red sky. His heart's desire.

"But this land has been Kent land for generations."

"All that's our past." Jonathan looked at his son over his glasses. "You're our future. You're all that matters to us."

--

Clark Kent took his lunch break at around two o'clock after waving goodbye to Jimmy Olsen. A blink of an eye later, Superman was seen shooting across the Metropolis skyline.

He arrived at the Metropolis University Medical Center surgical ward B, where Dr. Evgenia Stacy was waiting for him. Truth be told, Clark was in awe of Dr. Stacy. She was around his age, but she had been conducting groundbreaking research in the field of childhood cancers for nearly two decades. She had saved more deserving lives than he could possibly imagine.

He thought it was a shame that Dr. Stacy didn't take more pride in all the good she had done. For her, pediatric malignant tumors were a purely intellectual pursuit, and the real-world implications of her research were just incidental. She was a certified genius, and kind of a loner. She spent all of her time in the lab, fueled by each journal article she published in the NEJM.

At any rate, Superman was her newest research assistant. The surgeon would take biopsies of tumors, Dr. Stacy would treat them with her experimental pharmaceutical preparation, and Superman would use his enhanced vision to give real-time reports on the drug's efficacy.

It was the same today. Clark watched as the drug molecule – "a minor modification to doxorubicin" as Dr. Stacy had explained – inserted itself between two base pairs on the DNA helix and uncoiled it. He had never seen anything so fascinating. Excitement lit up his face, and when they were finished, Dr. Stacy couldn't help but smile back with the same intensity.

"It must be enthralling to actually _watch_ it happen," she sighed as she sorted through the papers on her desk back at her office.

"It is." Superman nodded solemnly.

"Well, thanks to you, this whole process is going by lightning quick. Otherwise, I would have been at it for months."

"I'm glad I can help," Superman said sincerely. He drew his brows together in such a way that some dormant maternal instinct flared up within Dr. Stacy. It caught her by surprise, but she quickly quashed it. "So, this strain of doxorubicin can target any gene that isn't normal?"

"Theoretically," she answered, a little disarmed by how boyishly endearing he was. "Abnormal genes replicate faster, and these drugs use replication rate as their mainstay. _I'm_ working on something that's a little more selective. That way, anything beyond our normal forty-six chromosomes can be suppressed."

"I have fifty-one."

Dr. Stacy observed him with interest. "Maybe my drug could suppress your five extra chromosomes, then," she suggested offhandedly. She was itching to get back to work now. She had had enough of pleasantries, even if it was with _Superman_.

But to her surprise, she saw Superman's eyes flicker at her statement for the briefest of seconds. And then, something occurred to her.

"This is a completely spur-of-the-moment thought," she began, "but if you ever feel the need to drop the 'super' from your title, I could help. My drug could inhibit any of your genes that aren't identical to those in humans."

Superman hesitated, but then laughed. "I don't see how that would help me fight crime any better," he joked.

"It wouldn't," Dr. Stacy agreed at once. "But if you ever wanted to…for personal reasons." She took one of her business cards and wrote a number on the back. "This is a direct and protected phone line. Should you ever decide to go ahead with something like this, please contact me."

He made no move to take the business card from her hand, so she set it in front of him on her desk. At that moment, her phone rang. She excused herself and took the call, her eyes drifting towards the window behind her desk.

When she turned around a few minutes later, Superman was gone, and so was the card.

--

"Where's your _head_, Kent?"

Clark had only time to blink when he heard Batman's low growl in his comm. link before a telephone pole came hurtling towards him. He moved out of the way just in time, or else it would have snapped in two when it impacted with his neck.

"I'm sorry," Clark said quickly.

It was another breakout from a high-security prison, and five villains that the Justice League was all-too-familiar with were out for revenge. As founding members, Superman and Batman _were_ meant to take a backseat in order to allow Vigilante and B'wanna Beast to gain combat experience, but Clark had taken this time to become completely lost in thought.

"This is getting ridiculous," scoffed Bruce. "You take care of Star Sapphire. I'm going to show Vigilante a trick to deal with Luminus."

"Fine," agreed Clark, eager to busy himself with something. If he zoned out like that again, Bruce would be out for his blood. His friend didn't _want_ to train new members; he was only here because Clark had insisted. And if Clark wasn't _really_ all here, well then…

It was too late. As Clark met the impact of Sapphire's energy beams, he heard Bruce grunt out between breaths, "What's the matter with you?"

"…Nothing."

"Good."

Clark would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for the melancholy sigh that he couldn't suppress in time. He struggled to push against Sapphire's rays, which was more difficult than it looked.

He heard Bruce sigh too, but it was a bracing, aggravated sigh. "I don't want to know what happened," Bruce began, "I have no interest in knowing what happened. If you want me to take the bait and insist on asking you what happened, _that_ won't happen either."

Clark considered for a moment. "That's okay," he decided, and glowered at Sapphire to initiate his heat vision. There was a long pause in the conversation as he and Sapphire tried to overcome each other's energy beams.

Finally, Bruce spoke. "Tell me what happened." He said this so begrudgingly that Clark couldn't help but break into a smile. So he told him about his morning – about how he went to Metropolis University to work with Dr. Stacy, about her offer, about the card she left on the table. As he recounted his story, he defeated his opponent and ended up back-to-back with Bruce to finish up the capture of the escapees.

Bruce listened to all of this impassively. "So what did you do?"

"I took the card," Clark admitted. He exchanged a glance with Bruce, who raised an eyebrow. But the rest of the conversation was cut short when a near-unconscious B'wanna Beast was hurled into their midst.

In fact, it wasn't picked up again until much later, when they returned to the Watchtower after the mission. Clark headed straight for the commissary, and once he had grabbed a plate and found a table, he was surprised to see both Bruce and Diana by the espresso machine. Bruce had his cape drawn over his shoulders, and he was speaking into Diana's ear as she poured herself some coffee. Something he said startled her, and made her cast a furtive glance over in Clark's direction. It didn't take super-hearing to know what they were talking about.

Thus, Clark braced himself when Wonder Woman and Batman, each armed with a steaming mug, swept towards him. They seated themselves at his table and stared at him intently.

Wonder Woman broke the silence. "You're actually considering this…offer?"

He took a pensive sip from his glass. "Yes."

Diana looked aghast. "You would willingly give up your powers in exchange for _nothing_?" She narrowed her eyes, as if it would help her understand. Maybe it did. "I know it's difficult, Superman…_Clark_. Our abilities can often lead us to be ostracized by others." She put her hand on his. "But no matter what the temptation to give up your abilities" – here, Clark politely ignored the flicker that Diana's eyes made towards Bruce – "surely you know that they do more good than harm."

Clark listened to her. Put his other hand on hers and squeezed it. Smiled wanly. "I don't know that for sure."

Diana withdrew her hand and curled it into a fist. "Forgive me for asking, but what is wrong with you?" She glared at him. "_What?_" she then demanded coldly as she touched her ear. She had been called away on a mission. With one final swig of her coffee, she briefly regarded her two companions and left.

"She's right, you know," Batman grumbled as soon as Wonder Woman was out of earshot.

"I didn't know you cared, Bruce," Clark joked as he collected a forkful of food.

"Hmph," grumbled Batman as cheerfully as ever until he realized that Clark was referring to his feelings about _Diana_ and not Clark. Admitting out loud that he cared about either one of them made him uncomfortable, however, so he decided to ignore this and move on. "Since you're pretty calm about this life-altering decision, I'm assuming that you've thought about this – powers thing – before."

"I have," Clark agreed, "my whole life." The Black Mercy had helped him realize this.

"It's not because of Lois, is it?" Bruce asked pointedly.

"No."

Bruce leaned back in his seat. "Explain it to me." It was almost a challenge.

"…Bruce." Clark furrowed his brow. He tried anyway. "I'm eating dinner right now. I can taste it. I'm going to digest it and everything. But I don't need to eat it. I've been eating three meals a day for my entire life. But I've never _needed_ to eat them." He sighed. "I want to be able to need to eat food."

Batman listened to all of this, and when Clark finished, didn't respond at once. Clark's words hung in the air between them.

Finally, Bruce cleared his throat and he looked at Clark squarely in the eye. "You're the most powerful person on this planet, and several others. It's lucky that you're one of the good guys. Do you want the bad guys to win while you're pandering to some philosophical debate on identity?"

"This is my _life_, Bruce." His voice rose. "I think about who I am all the time; even when I don't want to, I _have_ to. Now, for the first time in my life, giving up my powers wouldn't be selfish, it would actually be _possible_ – look at the League roster. And if that doesn't work, you've even got Kara." Both of them got up slowly, annoyed. "It's important to me to finally understand who I am."

"You're Kent," said Bruce as he pointed his thumb to his friend's chest. "That's all you need to know."

--

He couldn't stay in the Watchtower after that. Normally, he valued Bruce's opinions more than his own, but this time it was different. Bruce's opinion held very little weight in his current situation. Even Bruce's Diana card, although cleverly played, wasn't enough. Diana grew up in a place where everyone was like her. She couldn't possibly understand the temptation to be human. She hadn't had her humanness forcefully ripped from her – he _had_, twice. Once, when he was a teenager, and then again, when he was freed from the Black Mercy. Diana had made a choice.

Until now, Clark had never been given a choice.

He went to the Fortress. Fed the animals. Rested his forehead against a glass pane of the menagerie without thinking, and accidentally cracked it. It was his own fault for forgetting who he was for a moment.

His animals were all just like him – the last of their kind. Forced to make their own way, with no examples to follow. It was why he had rescued all of them from the Preserver's ship; they were all Clark Kents. One of the animals was especially strange – it looked almost exactly like a golden retriever, but every time it barked, it released a volley of flames from its mouth. Sometimes, Clark thought it was his favorite of them all.

He kneeled onto the ground. "Don't you get lonely, boy?" he inquired of the dog look-alike, "Don't you ever get tired of being careful, of wanting to just breath easy for once?"

The retriever twirled around once and then barked, singeing a nearby animal. The animal squawked indignantly, and the dog whimpered.

Clark laughed humorlessly. "You can't afford not to be careful."

He made his way over to the statue of Jor-El and Lara. It was a part of the cave that he almost never visited, one that he had designated to them out of a sense of duty, and perhaps even out of guilt. He looked at the parents he never knew smiling broadly as they held aloft a world he had never known.

What had Jor-El and Lara wanted for their son when they sent him to planet where everyone else looked like him, Clark wondered as he gazed up at their faces. Surely they wouldn't have guessed that their son would grow up to be a Superman. They had only wanted to ensure a future for little Kal-El, an almost _normal_ future, if their selection of Earth was any indication. He had decided himself to shoulder greater responsibilities, because he felt that his powers compelled him to serve humanity.

And Jor-El had said something: "Remember who you are and the legacy you carry inside of you."

But he couldn't carry on a legacy that he had never known. He tried, of course – it was why his birth family crest was emblazoned on his uniform. Yet even that was because of Ma and Pa, who had instilled in him too much about responsibility and honor.

He took out Dr. Stacy's card and twirled in between his fingers. Thought about the recently expanded Justice League. About little Van-El.

Ma and Pa would support him no matter what he chose in the end. The memory of the angry looks on Bruce and Diana's faces made him hesitate, however.

But if he was honest with himself, he knew that he would learn to deal with all of their opinions, no matter what he decided in the end. There was only one person whose point of view he _needed_ to know before he made his choice. Lois.

* * *

**AN**: Coming up next: Another trip to Smallville! Lots of Lois! And can Dr. Stacy be trusted?**  
Another AN**: Jor-El and Lara's advice to young Clark is from the first episode of STAS.


	2. An Evening In Smallville

**AN**: I think that love is kind of central to Superman's story. Not just romantic love, but all kinds of love. This chapter is mostly SM/LL, Ma/Pa (hey hey!), but I'll definitely bring Clark's other great love, Bruce, into the next chapter

**Chapter 2: An Evening in Smallville **

**

* * *

**_**Clark**__: I know you'll find that special person someday.__**  
Lana**__: So will you. You deserve it. Someone quiet, understanding, patient—**  
Lois**__: [from the other side of the Planet offices] Hey SMALLVILLE. Get your TAIL in here. Perry's got an assignment for us… KE-ENT!**  
Clark**__: [sighs]_

- "My Girl," Superman: The Animated Series

* * *

Dr. Stacy nervously smoothed her skirt as she waited in the lobby. She didn't like being away from the lab. The more time she spent away from it, the less time she had to unravel the mysteries of carcinogenesis. And in her field, every moment was precious. But unfortunately, sometimes the bureaucracy involved in academic research couldn't be ignored. She hoped that today's meeting would be…fruitful.

"Lex Luthor will see you now," announced the receptionist.

Dr. Stacy gave a taut smile of acknowledgement, and walked through the doors the receptionist ushered her through. Lex Luthor was at his desk with his hands clasped under his chin. "Dr. Stacy," he stood and greeted her politely, "Lex Luthor. How can I help you?"

She shook his hand and took a seat. She faintly remembered hearing that he favored the direct approach. That's exactly what she would give him then. "I can eliminate Superman's powers. Permanently."

Lex almost fell out of his chair. When he saw that Dr. Stacy remained composed, he tried to wipe the shock from his face. "And how is that, exactly?" he ventured, his voice thick with skepticism.

"An intravenous gene suppression treatment. After a few rounds of treatment, it can permanently suppress his alien chromosomes."

Lex blinked twice. And then really, he _had_ to laugh. "An _intravenous_ treatment, you say? For the Man of Steel? And _several_ doses of this intravenous treatment?" He put his palm flat onto his desk and leaned forward. "I know that you spend most of the day holed up in a lab, doctor, but even you can guess the improbability – nay, _impossibility –_ of what you're proposing."

"That shouldn't be a problem," she said confidently. "Superman will volunteer. He indicated interest in the drug to me himself." And then, she pushed her phone towards him. "I uploaded the security tape of his visit onto my Blackberry."

Lex watched the video in which Dr. Stacy described the treatment to Superman, in which Superman hesitated but took her card. He leaned back in his desk and regarded Dr. Stacy. "And what do you want in return?"

She lifted her chin. "Tenure and department chairmanship at the university of my choice. Twenty million dollars in research grant money up front, with the guarantee of at least one hundred thousand annually beginning next year. And I don't want to have any outside influence in the kinds of questions I research." Here, she looked at him pointedly.

"Hmm." Lex rubbed his chin. "You realize that if this actually works, it can't be linked to me in any way."

"_That_ is why you need me," she contended. "You're the only one who can realize my research dreams, and I'm the only one who can realize your…dreams."

Lex sniggered. He considered for a moment, and then declared, "You've got yourself a deal." They both rose and shook hands. "I expect footage of each round of treatment, as well as a summary of any findings…or else, you'll find that I may not always be as easy to get along with," Lex warned pleasantly.

"If Superman consents to participate in this study, Mr. Luthor, then you can be sure that he won't be a Superman after two weeks."

"Two weeks is all it takes…" Lex's eyes glittered greedily. He led Dr. Stacy out of his office, and as soon as she was gone, he strode back to his desk and pushed a button on his intercom.

"Mercy, make the preparations."

--

"_Superman rounds up escaped Stryker's convicts_," Lois read aloud as she slammed her hands on her desk in triumph. "He did pretty good, don't you think?" She half-winked at Clark.

Clark had been quiet all morning, but he looked up from his desk at the sound of Lois's voice. "I'm sure he'd be pleased to hear you say that," he managed to say through his blushes. "Although, I heard from my _sources_ that Batman, Vigilante, and B'wanna Beast were there too." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, just like he always did when Superman received undue attention.

"Yeah, yeah, they're all in the subheading." Lois got up from her chair and stretched. "I could really go for a sandwich. You in, Smallville?"

That was their code for meeting on the roof, where they could talk freely at work without worrying about being overheard. "Sure," he agreed.

Once they were on the roof, Clark turned to Lois. "You didn't actually want a sandwich, did you?" he checked to make sure.

Lois rolled her eyes. "_No_, Clark, I didn't actually want a sandwich." But she smiled at him as she reached for his hand. She had known that Superman and Clark Kent were one and the same for quite some time now, but Clark _still_ couldn't believe it when she touched him, or kissed him, or – most of all – when she smiled at him, her eyes brimming with affection.

With her other hand, she reached for his face. "Spit it out," she urged him. "What's wrong?"

Clark looked at his feet. He was nervous. "Well," he began, gazing into the distance, "I was helping out Dr. Stacy again at Met U today…"

"Kids with cancer, good, good," Lois nodded along to speed him up. Then, she stopped and peered up at him. "Clark, are you sad again because there are kids out there with cancer?"

"No!" he protested hotly, "That's not it this time." He told her about Dr. Stacy's offer.

"Why did she think you'd take it?" Lois puzzled.

"She mentioned it in passing," clarified Clark, "It was just a logical progression from tumor suppression—"

"To alien gene suppression?" Lois tutted. She remained unconvinced. "You're thinking of doing it, aren't you?"

He nodded. "I think about it a lot. And now that I have the chance…what do _you_ think, Lois?"

Lois looked into his eyes. "I think that I'm going to love you no matter what you do." They took this moment to share a long hug, and then she pulled away and put her hands on her hips. "But I sense some hesitation. What's going on?"

"Lois, can I really just take Superman away from the world? Don't I have a responsibility—"

"Yes, taking away Superman is going to stink," Lois shrugged, "but if you keep thinking about it from Superman's perspective then you'll never make up your mind. You need to think about it from _your_ perspective." Clark looked bewildered, and Lois waited for him to finish. "Well, who are you?" she demanded. "Not who the world wants you to be, not who you want to be. Who are _you_?"

He thought about this, and then smiled slowly. "I can show you."

--

Ever since his first interaction with Lois – she had been asking Perry if the new reporter was good looking when he appeared behind her himself – Clark knew that he was in love with her despite his better judgment. Thus, a good amount of his daydreams over the last several years had been spent wondering what his first trip with Lois to Smallville would be like.

He certainly hadn't expected it to be like this. There was no pomp or circumstance. At the very least, there should have been a romantic background score playing on some distant radio loud enough for them to hear. "Here we are," Clark murmured as he gently set Lois down. He had landed them in a cornfield on the Kents' farm.

Lois looked around her, trying her best to appear impressed.

Clark laughed. "Let me show you around."

"Oh, so there _is_ more" flew out of Lois's mouth before she could stop herself. Clark blushed, but slipped her hand in his and led her towards the house. He felt so shy.

There was no one at home, so he took her into town in his old pickup truck. He showed her his high school. He took her to his favorite diner. They ordered his favorite root beer float.

When they returned a few hours later, they plonked themselves down on the front steps of the Kent homestead. "So this is Clark Kent," sighed Lois, her voice torn between affection and pity.

"I'm not very exciting," said Clark apologetically.

"No kidding," Lois answered at once, but she put her hand on his arm. "I knew that already, though."

Clark's heart raced at her touch, and right then a cool breeze rustled through the cornfields and Lois smiled at him so sweetly that he thought he would die of happiness over everything. The world around him was awash in the burnt orange light that preceded the sunset, including Lois's violet eyes, which were especially bewitching right then. They suddenly reminded him of Krypton, and the life he could have had – the life that the Black Mercy had shown him –

That was silly, he thought with sigh.

"What?" Lois nudged him.

He hesitated, but knowing that he would tell her eventually anyway, said, "If I could, I'd have a farm of my own, just like this one."

"Who says you can't?" she demanded.

"No one," he admitted, "but it wouldn't be right to live out my dream while the rest of the world—"

"Oh come _on_, Smallville. It's not like you want to take over the world. You just want to live on a _farm_." She made a face at the last word, and Clark decided that he couldn't live anywhere that she wouldn't be with him. He would certainly never ask her to do something that she didn't want to do. The desire for the farm was dropped cheerfully, and he casually slid his hand over Lois's. She stifled a giggle for some reason, and then rested her head on his shoulder.

It reminded him of the last time that he and Lois had talked about something similar. She had been teasing him: "Oh please, I couldn't get you off this farm if I exploded a quantum bomb under your—"

But that was the version of Lois that the Black Mercy had shown him. He looked at the real Lois next to him, even more wonderful that anything he could possibly imagine, and moved his arm from under her to drape it around her shoulders. She put her own around his waist. They sat like that for a while until the sound of another pickup in the driveway made them sit up. Sure enough, Ma and Pa were back home, and they were genuinely surprised to see Clark – and even more surprised to see whom he was with.

"Lois!" Martha exclaimed, and enveloped her in a warm hug.

"Hi Mrs. Kent," Lois greeted her shyly. "Mr. Kent."

"Lois." Jonathan shook her hand fondly.

The last time all four of them were together had been years ago. The Kents had come up to Metropolis on Father's Day to visit Clark. Since they stopped by at the Planet to pick him up for lunch, they met Lois too, of course. Martha had said something like, "Clark talks so much about you, we feel like you're already part of the family." Clark had turned beet red.

Tonight was different, however. It was understood by all of them that eventually she was going to be an official part of their family. While she was upstairs washing up before dinner, Martha assured Clark, "She's wonderful, sweetheart."

Clark grinned. "Thanks, Ma." Tonight was like something out of a dream. He and Lois in Smallville, having dinner with his parents. No hurried meal in the Watchtower commissary, far above Earth. No Chinese takeout in the Planet offices as he and Lois scrambled to finish their work. Now if only he _needed_ to eat the food that Ma was ladling into dishes.

Without realizing it, he had crushed the plate he held in his hands. He looked in shock at what he had done. "I'm so sorry, Ma," he gasped, horrified.

She shushed him kindly and came over to help him clean up. Jonathan took over setting the rest of the table.

He had slipped up. He forgot that the plate was in his hands. What kind of a person accidentally _crumbled_ a plate? He frowned at the answer. Became pensive. "What would you and Pa think if I could give up my powers?" he asked suddenly.

His parents regarded him curiously. "Is that a possibility?" Jonathan wondered.

"Apparently it is. This professor in Metropolis says that she can suppress my Kryptonian genes. I could be a real, honest-to-goodness human." Before his parents could say anything, he added quickly, "It seems like something I could really go for."

Jonathan and Martha exchanged glances. "It seems to me that you've already made up your mind," observed Jonathan, "But whatever you decide, Clark, we're behind you. You know that, son. As long as you stay a good person, your mother and I will support you and your decisions."

Martha, on the other hand, was fighting back tears. When Clark saw this, he pulled her into a hug. "I won't do it if you don't want me to, Ma," and he meant it.

"It's not that," sniffed Martha, "It's just…I wish things had been easier for you, Clark."

Clark hugged her even tighter. But not as tightly as he wanted to – he had too much strength to risk it.

--

When Lois returned to the dining room, they all sat down to dinner. He dropped Lois back to her apartment. Kissed her good night. Came back to his place and put his glasses by his alarm clock. Went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror for a long time.

I'll never forget, he had promised them. It was as much a promise to them as it was a warning to himself.

When he woke up the next morning, he didn't dress for work. Instead, he put on his cape and uniform and flew in the opposite direction from the Planet. He received stares and some smiles when he entered the Metropolis University Medical Center. He knocked on Dr. Stacy's door.

She answered, clearly startled to have a visitor so early in the morning, but pleased when she realized who it was. "I want to start the medication," he said.

"Of course," purred Dr. Stacy in a voice she reserved only for her patients. She put a reassuring hand on his arm. "Come in."

* * *

_Next time: Lex is a sleaze. Batman's a tease. And can the world handle itself without Superman?_

**AN**: Most of these references to STAS are from memory as my DVD player is shot, so please correct me if I get something wrong! The first time Lois met the Kents was in the STAS episode "Father's Day." And this thing I reference over and over about Clark not needing to eat because of his Kryptonian physiology is from STAS "The Late Mr. Kent" (one of my favorites!!).

And I know that it would have caught everyone off guard if Dr. Stacy was a good guy, but then she's not a _bad_ guy either. She's just practical and a little selfish.

And finally, thanks for the reviews! I think that more stuff will "happen" in the next chapter, but post-Thanagarian invasion and new Justice League formation, I don't know if Clark ever got to take a break – this was my way of pretend-giving him time to breathe a little.


	3. Personal Reasons

**Chapter 3: Personal Reasons**

* * *

_**Clark: **__Look, Wayne, I came here because I thought _maybe_ we should work more closely together, considering we know one another's secrets.  
__**Bruce: **__Oh, you mean like how you spend half your day playing reporter when you could be saving lives?  
__**Clark:**__ This is who I am! I was Clark Kent before I was Superman.  
__**Bruce: **__They call you "Clark" on Krypton?  
__**Clark: **__Who are you to judge me?_

- Superman/Batman Annual #2: "The Man Who Stole Superman's Powers"

* * *

The night before his first scheduled appointment with Dr. Stacy, Clark hadn't dreamt about Krypton. He woke up with a smile. And while the smile left his lips, the feeling of lightness didn't leave him all morning. He set a pot of coffee to brew and went into the bathroom to shave. Soon, he'd have to use an actual razor instead of his heat vision. He wondered what brand of shaving cream he'd buy.

He was halfway through his first cup when the phone rang.

"So you're taking the coward's way out," was Bruce's greeting.

Any lightness that had buoyed Clark through the morning suddenly disappeared. "Bruce," he warned, unable to keep from feeling hurt.

"Fine," Bruce relented; perhaps realizing that he'd gone too far. "But you should know that once you take this treatment, there's no turning back, and when you realize that losing your powers won't make you suddenly understand who you are, it'll be too late."

"_Bruce_." Clark had had enough. If he had had any doubts before, they were gone _now_. "You don't have _any_ idea what it's like to be me! You don't know what it's like to be in constant danger of hurting someone. You don't know what it's like to not be able to escape a legacy that you know so little about—"

"Clark—"

"_You_ don't know what it's like not to be able to turn it 'off,'" Clark fumed, "because _you_ can put on a suit and tie and suddenly, any trace of Batman is gone. _I'm always Superman_. I can never forget who I am, because even if I want to, everything little thing I do reminds me of how I'm different, of _how alone I am in this world_—"

"What did the Black Mercy show you, Clark?"

Clark was shaking. His jaw was clenched. He was struggling to keep himself from crumpling the phone in his hands. But Bruce's question made him step back. Made him hang his head.

Bruce was silent too.

It seemed like ages before he finally said, "I hope you know what you're doing, Kent." And then the line went dead.

--

Batman moved swiftly towards the Watchtower medical bay, where the team that had just returned from the latest recon mission had all been diverted, Wonder Woman among them. He punched a few buttons on a security console and entered the room where Diana was waiting to be checked up by J'onn.

He tried his best to hide his surprise at the sight of her. Her skin was uniformly raw and pink. In some places, it was matted in dried blood.

He sat next to her. Put a hand on her arm. She winced in pain.

"I'll heal in a day or two," she said aloud, as much for her own benefit as for his.

Her costume was impractical, he wanted to tell her. But after his conversation with Clark earlier that morning, he was a little wary about giving advice. "What _was_ it?" he asked instead.

"We think it's some kind of highly radioactive robot, similar to the one John and Green Arrow went up against last month in Chong-Mai. Only we don't know for sure. We couldn't even get near its holding facility because there was too much radiation."

"Where?"

She mentioned the coordinates. "That's government land," said Bruce.

"—Which they bought from one of Lex Luthor's subsidiary companies a couple of months ago." Diana gingerly rubbed the back of her neck. "It won't be easy finding out who's behind this. I'm getting the feeling that we can't trust anyone."

"You're learning," he noted with approval.

She returned her hand to her side and regarded him. "You're not here just to see me." She raised an eyebrow. "Is it about Clark? I have a bad feeling about his doctor friend."

Bruce allowed himself to smile just a little. "You're right. I don't trust her either. But as far as I've been able to find, she has no connection to anything suspicious outside of Metropolis University."

"Metropolis? What about Lex Luthor?"

"He's fully exonerated now," Bruce joked dryly. Diana made a small _pfft _sound; he nodded in agreement. "It wouldn't hurt to check up on that, but the problem is that _Clark_ hasn't considered any such alternatives. He has an appointment with Dr. Stacy in just a couple of hours."

Her eyes widened. "Why would he so blindly trust her?"

He frowned. "In Clark's eyes no one who wants to cure kids with cancer can be a bad person." He looked at Diana. "…And the temptation is hard to ignore."

"What do you mean?"

"The Black Mercy."

She tilted her head towards him. Hesitated before she asked, "Did he tell you he saw?"

"No, but knowing him, he was probably living an uneventful life on a farm somewhere." He thought for a minute. "He probably had a kid and a dog too."

For a minute he allowed himself to wonder what _he_ would have seen if he had been under the influence of the Black Mercy for just a little longer. But when the first image that came to mind was of a hand wearing both a wedding ring and a metal bracer, he stopped. Stood up abruptly. Diana knew it was inevitable, but she still sighed. He said something about keeping her informed about his investigations and then he left.

--

Wonder Woman was splashed across every television screen in the Daily Planet offices. She had just announced that Superman had taken a sabbatical from the Justice League and would be unavailable for some time owing to "personal reasons."

"What I say next is meant to serve as a reassurance to the citizens of Metropolis, as well as a warning to those with dishonorable motives: Even without Superman, the Justice League, with a manpower of over sixty, is still in service. Rest assured that the Man of Steel's absence will not be felt in the city that he loves, nor in the world that he has made his own."

The screen cut to the network newscaster. At the Planet, all eyes cut to Lois.

Lois tried to appear as surprised as any of them. "I can't believe he didn't tell me!" she cried with a dramatic flourish for the benefit of her captivated audience.

Clark was at his desk. Trying not to feel guilty. Failing, a little.

He had had a disagreement with Diana about the word "sabbatical." "I can't get my powers back," he had clarified for her. "Superman _can't_ return to the Justice League."

"I understand, but we have to allow people to become gradually used to the idea of not having Superman around. And more importantly, we don't know if this medication you're taking will actually work."

He didn't want her to be right, but it had been three days now, and he couldn't tell if he felt any different yet. Dr. Stacy had advised him not to use his powers in order to prevent transcription of his Kryptonian genes, which could counter the effects of the drug. So he hadn't. But the other day, when he tripped over a rug in his apartment and dropped the glass in his hands so that a shard of it plummeted, it bounced off his foot when it should have cut him pretty badly. It made him feel a little less hopeful, but the hope was still there.

The news about Superman, he noted with distress, was on everyone's minds, and Lois seemed to be getting the brunt of it. Her desk phone rang without pause after the Justice League's announcement, and she slammed the receiver down on each caller after snarling, "No, I'm _not_ available for an interview _because I don't know anything_."

He hated seeing Lois so frazzled, and it was all because of him. He felt terrible. After a couple of hours, he ventured tentatively, "Can I get you a sandwich, Lois?"

Lois regarded him blankly, then shook out of her trance. "Sure. In fact, I'll come with you – Lord knows I deserve the break."

On the roof, Clark apologized for the fallout at once.

"I'll live," she snapped, but then softened. "And how do _you_ feel, Smallville?"

"Well…guilty," he confessed.

"I meant from the drugs, Kent."

"Oh." He clasped his hands on top of his head. "Fine, I guess. The same, actually."

Lois was nonplussed. "Well, hang in there," she advised, "Dr. Stacy's giant genius won't fail you." She checked her watch. "Jeez, Smallville, I'd love to stay here and be supportive of you, but I've got to take the flak for you downstairs instead."

She walked away. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. "I'm sorry, Lois."

"Let's just say that now we're even for all of the times you've saved me," she called out over her shoulder, "Don't worry about me. Worry about how you're going to adjust to life without x-ray vision, or super-hearing, or…" Her voice trailed off as she descended the stairs.

--

Clark didn't have to worry, because he loved it.

When someone rang the doorbell at his apartment, he didn't x-ray the door first, he just answered it.

He ate apple pie with ice cream, but not too much. He couldn't eat just anything now, because he had to watch out for his health. For the first time in his life, he joined a gym. A little preemptively, but no one else could understand just _how_ he felt as he threaded his membership card into his key ring.

He took a bus all the way from Metropolis to Kansas, because other than flying on a plane, it was the only way that he'd be able to get there now! He beamed through the entire trip. The visit was absurdly short because he had to get back to work on Monday, but he didn't mind.

Pete Ross was in town one day, and the two of them went out for milkshakes to relive their glory days. Clark stayed the entire time. No emergency to call him away. No secret identity to protect. Pete even made a joke about how Clark was the person he had least expected to move to the big city, and Clark was secretly elated.

Sometimes on TV, he'd see news coverage of the Justice League. They were doing fine without him. Sometimes a hint of guilt would surface, but then he'd reason with himself: he _couldn't_ help anymore. He wasn't actively withholding his powers if there were none there.

Once, when the League was in Metropolis taking care of Volcana and Firefly, Perry even sent Clark to cover the story. John was polite, but Wally gaped at him throughout the interview. He was sad, because he knew that these friendships would become increasingly hard to maintain. But he was willing to make the sacrifice.

He missed Bruce, though. He would fight for Bruce. But he needed to give him some time. Clark knew that Bruce must feel somehow betrayed by his decision.

He went to Dr. Stacy's office every night, and was careful not to use his powers as per her advice. He didn't want to interfere with the drug's efficacy. Once the course of therapy was over, _then_ he'd try to use x-ray vision, and hopefully it would fail.

It was the best week of his life.

One night, he went to the park and lay in the grass. He wanted to see the stars. Tried not to think about all of the times he had been flying around among them, because he didn't want to. Just wanted to look at them. Feel how little he was in the grand scheme of things. Feel violently happy.

--

Then one morning he felt the ground rumbling.

Perry came out of his office. "Put on the forecast!" he barked, waving to the screens. "It's a windy day. Might be a hurricane." Jimmy scrambled to obey him.

Lois covered a showy yawn and stretched her arms. "We don't get hurricanes in Metropolis, chief," she scoffed loudly. "And anyway, these days you've got to think alien invaders before you think natural disasters." She stood and yanked her bag onto her shoulder.

Clark was up at once. He put a firm hand on her arm.

Her eyes flashed in warning. "Listen, Smallville, just because you're going to be around all of the time now doesn't mean that I'm going to stop taking risks to get the story," she hissed through gritted teeth.

He shook his head. "Look," he said, motioning behind her.

She grudgingly complied, and her mouth fell open.

Outside of the Daily Planet building was a gigantic radioactive robot, like the one Clark had read about in John's report of the mission he and Kara had gone to in Southeast Asia. As it flailed its arms, it incinerated anything it came into contact with. With one swipe, the top floor of the building across from the Planet was gone. The path behind it was a straight line of ashes.

The Justice League had formed a perimeter in the air around it. Clark saw Wonder Woman, a little higher than the others, calling out orders. Her blue cape fluttered around her like a banner. She had one hand on her comm. link. The Batwing must be nearby.

Clark had never seen the League in action from the Planet building, because he was always on the other side, in the fray. Now he watched them, sweat prickling the back of his neck. Fear. God, he used to put Lois through all of this. Not anymore.

Some minutes passed, but none of the Leaguers had shortened the perimeter. He understood why – the radiation from the robot was too strong. But surely there was _someone_. He watched Diana nod to Captain Atom. The Captain could get near enough. Clark had always respected him and his abilities.

Captain Atom tried to absorb some of the radioactivity, but even _his_ form started to disintegrate the closer he drew. Diana sent Red Rocket next, wrapped in an energy field from John's ring. The robot swatted away Red Rocket so easily that he went careening through the air. John streaked after him.

After a few more tries, some of the other Leaguers used bows to shoot carbon rods at the creature, just as Green Arrow had done in Chong-Mai. The rods disintegrated before they could penetrate it.

"God help them all," muttered Lois. She clamped her hands over her mouth.

Clark prayed along silently. He felt helpless, and, somehow, _responsible_ for what was happening. He sharply inhaled when he saw that Wonder Woman _herself_ was going to attempt to approach the creature to shut it down. She was the strongest member of the League now. The only one left who had a chance. But even then, it wasn't enough. He watched her argue over her comm. link with a scowl. Batman must disagree with her plan, it seemed.

Only Clark knew how much willpower it took him not to yell out her name in protest as she shot towards the monster. He squeezed his eyes shut. Hated himself for abandoning them.

There was a loud crash, and suddenly, Wonder Woman came hurtling through the windows of the Daily Planet and slammed into one of the television screens on the far wall before she fell to the ground. Lois rushed to help her.

Diana shook her head to clear her senses. Stood up with Lois's help. Gave a sweeping scan of the people in the room, her eyes meeting Clark's for a fraction of a second. "…Lois," she proclaimed then, "Who is Lois Lane?"

"I am," said Lois, not letting go of Diana's arm.

"Lois." Diana's face softened, but remained solemn. They looked at each other. "I need you to communicate a message to Superman from me."

Clark's head jerked involuntarily. "…Yes, of course," Lois stammered.

"I need you to tell Superman that there is a reactor inside of that robot can only be disabled manually, and that he is the only one of us who can get near enough to do it. Tell him that we understand that it has been difficult for him." She paused. Her voice grew softer. "First, Darkseid used him to nearly destroy Metropolis, then his requisite lobbying for Luthor's pardon, and then the Thanagarian invasion. For someone who's motivated to move forward by seeing the best in every situation, there hasn't been much for him to draw on lately. But tell him that none of us can ever match his strength, or bravery. Can you tell him all this?"

"But Wonder Woman." Lois looked ready to cry. "He _can't_ help you. There's no possible way…"

The right side of Diana's body was raw where the radioactive monster had hit her, charred in some places and bleeding in others. There were cuts all over her face and her remaining skin. And yet she was still regal. Her cape swirled around her in brilliant defiance. Her head was held up high as she half-limped towards the broken windows. She stopped when she was inches away from Clark and then swept around to face Lois.

In a voice audible only to Clark, she murmured, "Batman has been switching the drug for glucose." She took off into the sky. Clark was left staring after her.

* * *

_Next up is the concluding chapter, in which Clark saves the world but Lois saves the day._

**AN:** The radioactive robot is definitely from the JLU episode "Initiation," and I'm sorry for not being too creative with the background destruction for this story, since I wanted to focus on Clark and not spend too much time setting up the bad guy. Similarly, keep in mind what happened in the first JLU season for the next chapter, as this story is totally going to follow established continuity.

Two things I borrowed from comic books: 1) Clark liking apple pie with ice cream is from the Batman/Superman storyline that introduces Supergirl. And 2) in the original "For the Man Who Has Everything," Batman dreamt that he was married to Kathy Kane and had a teenaged daughter before Jason Todd yanked the Black Mercy off of him. And he was chill about it.


	4. Expression

**Chapter 4: Expression**

* * *

_**Clark: **__Suddenly, people are calling me "Superman." They want to know everything about me; some are even afraid of me, just like Jor-El and Lara warned. Does this mean I'm going to have to give up my life?  
__**Jonathan:**__ No, son. It doesn't matter where you were born, or what you can do – you'll always be Clark Kent. Superman just helps out now and then._

- "The Last Son of Krypton," Superman: The Animated Series

* * *

When Bruce had pulled the Black Mercy off of Clark, there was a moment when he realized that his heart had stopped beating. And somehow, he knew at that moment that _he_ could decide whether or not it would ever beat again. Van-El's sad little face was burned into his eyes.

But then he saw Bruce on the ground in front of him. He knew that Bruce was real. He knew that he was his best friend. He decided to let his heart beat.

That memory was the only thing that registered in his mind as Diana flew out of the Daily Planet building. So the last ten days, none of it was –

"Clark? You don't look so good," Jimmy noted with concern.

"Yeah, Kent, why don't you let your face spend some quality time over a toilet bowl?" Lois supplied.

Lois. He knew Lois's voice. He turned to look at her. Her display of humor was completely incongruous with the look she gave him. She was giving him a chance to make a convenient getaway. To make a decision. She would be behind him no matter what he decided.

But there wasn't a choice. He was farmer Kal-El again, struggling, _aching_ to hold on to little Van as the planet literally crumbled around them. He was fifteen year-old Clark again, his whole world ripped away from him without warning just because he held a tiny box in his hands. "But I _am_ normal!" he had shouted at Jor-El and Lara. Who would listen to him now? Who would _believe_ him?

"Yeah…I…" He was dazed. It was not an act. "Feeling—not so…great…" He made a wild dash towards the elevators. No one noticed. Everyone's attention was directed at the battle raging before them.

And then in almost a blink of an eye, there was a red-and-blue streak up in the sky.

--

Clark flung himself into the battle. Didn't think about things like betrayal, or disappointment. Concentrated on how the radioactive flames from the robot were slapping against his skin. Felt almost grateful for the distracting physical pain.

He struggled to make it to the machine's trunk where the reactor was present. He destroyed it. The robot fell. The day was saved.

But his heart was heavier than it was before, because now the pain was gone, and the shock of Diana's revelation had worn off. He needed Lois. She always waited for Superman on the roof of the Planet after he took care of business in Metropolis, so Clark headed there while the rest of the Justice League worked on clean up; he was too distracted to be polite.

And just as he had hoped, as soon as he touched the ground, Lois ran into his arms. They held each other, and Lois let him be sad, because it was what he needed right then.

"It's okay," she said into his chest, "We'll just say in the Planet that your fake sabbatical was to lure this robot out of hiding, and then you can try again." He gave her a sad smile; finally let her go and smoothed the hair around her face. It was then that his eye caught the flutter of a black cape in the distance by the Daily Planet globe.

Gently, he steered Lois aside and curled his hands into fists. Something was replacing his sadness. Anger. "You had no right."

Batman stared back impassively.

Clark expected this response, but right then, he didn't have the patience or humor to put up with it. "I knew that you didn't agree with my decision, but I had no idea that you would go _behind my back_ and sabotage me."

Silence.

Without realizing it, Clark was closing the distance between them. "You may think it's stupid to put value into things like having a picnic when it's nice out or practicing your free throw, but I couldn't disagree more. I _want_ the little things without having to worry about the consequences that I can't control. Just because _you_ don't want what I want doesn't give you license to keep those things from me. Just because you're too afraid to get too close to someone, doesn't mean that I don't want to. Just because you don't understand the value of human rel—"

"That's enough, Clark!" snarled Bruce. "No one craves 'normalcy' more than I do. But I can't have the normal life I want, and neither can you. You'd realize that in a couple of years if you had actually given up your powers, when you'd see the world going to the dogs because there was no more Superman. The guilt would have eaten you alive! You've got to forget whatever fantasy the Black Mercy showed you, because that's _all_ it was. A fantasy."

And then Clark punched the part of the Planet globe that was next to Bruce's head. His eyes flickered when he realized what he had done. He drew back in horror. He hung his head. "But I _can't_ forget," he tried to explain. His voice faltered.

Lois drew closer. "Why can't you forget, Clark?" she asked softly.

He turned his back to them and closed his eyes. "…I had a son. Van-El."

It was quiet for a moment. Then he felt Lois slide her hand in his. He felt Bruce's hand on his shoulder. His shoulders started shaking, but the other two didn't move. They stood like that for a long time.

It was late afternoon when Lois and Clark made it to his apartment. Bruce had stayed with them long enough for Clark to know that his friend had reached his limit. They landed on his balcony, and he slid open the doors and gaped in disbelief when he saw his parents sitting on his couch.

Martha rushed over to her son at once. "Oh, _Clark_!" she cried as she hugged him. "We were so worried!"

Clark's heart swelled. He squeezed his mother in his arms, and then his eye caught sight of who else was there. Kara was still in her Supergirl costume, coming directly from another League mission. She waved at him excitedly. Lana was sitting across from Pa, nursing a glass of something which she now raised in his honor. Batman and a bandaged Wonder Woman stood together in the far corner. He nodded, and she smiled.

He let go of Ma and goggled at Lois. She shrugged modestly. "It was a bad news, good news kind of a situation. The bad news was that you didn't get what you wanted. The good news is that it may not matter as much as you think, because you've got so many people who love you." She swept her hand with a flourish to indicate the people occupying his living room.

Clark swallowed. And then he beamed. "Thanks," he said to all of them, meaning it.

--

Lex Luthor was not a happy man. As he watched the news coverage of Superman destroying the robot that it had cost him millions of secret dollars to make, he wondered how he could have been stupid enough to_ believe_ that Superman would ever want to give up his powers. Why would anyone want to give up Godliness?

With a roar, he hurled the remote control at the TV in his office. He had good aim.

He barreled out of the office. Without waiting for Mercy, he swept into one of his Porsches and drove heedlessly to the outskirts of Metropolis. There was only one person he wanted to see right now.

Lex arrived at the unmarked building. He slammed the car door behind him. Stormed inside. The guards nervously cleared a path for him.

"Oh, _no_, Luthor, spend millions on the damn robot if Superman is out of the picture," Lex muttered to himself as he made his way to a particular office, "The ball's in _our_ damn court. When the world sees that the Justice League is weak without Superman, _we'll_ come in and—" He found the door he wanted and flung it open.

"I applaud you for your incompetence," Lex mocked the woman sitting at the desk, "You didn't act in time. Now I'm the _only_ one who's implicated in this ridiculous nuclear-monster fiasco, and that means that you can kiss your funding goodbye." He pounded the wall next to him and glowered.

"It was unfortunate that Superman wasn't eliminated as we had hoped."

"_Unfortunate?_" Lex bellowed, "Your plan was to undermine the Justice League in front of the world and to swoop in with metas of your own who _could_ save the day! Now how are you going to get the world to side with you against the Justice League, Ms. Waller?" he demanded. "_Enlighten me_."

"_Calm down_, Mr. Luthor," said Amanda Waller coldly. She crossed her fingers under her chin. "We'll just have to come up with another way to introduce the League to Galatea and Project Cadmus."

--

A while later, Lois, Clark and Bruce found themselves standing together again. "How did you manage all of this, Lois?" he wondered.

"Well, I may have stolen your comm. link a couple of days ago for emergencies, and when you left the Planet, I used it to contact Wonder Woman." Lois looked smug. "She brought your parents over from Smallville, and I took care of Lana and Bruce."

Bruce stood characteristically stock still, but this time, it was only to goad Lois. Lois ignored him and continued, "I met Wonder Woman today for the first time and already I'm asking her to do things. What's _wrong_ with me? I mean, she's _Wonder Woman_. I should be terrified of her!"

"Actually, Lois, I think it should be the other way around," Bruce offered.

Lois glared. "I'll take that as a compliment," she said, still glaring, and turned away before he could respond with more of his standing still.

Clark chuckled. "Thank you," he sighed, "I needed this."

"I _know_," she agreed emphatically. "You really don't give yourself enough credit, Smallville. You're naturally a gentle and bumbling guy. It's in your nature to worry, Kryptonian or not. You were so busy moping around and feeling lonely that I was _forced_ to remind you of all the people that would stick by you no matter what."

He contemplated the scene before him. Pa was in deep discussion with Diana – Jonathan Kent had seen all nature of beast and machine, but he found Diana's Invisible Jet to be the most fascinating of them all. Lana was grilling Ma about her former classmates still in Smallville, while Kara went through Lana's phonebook and paused every few pages to squeal at the name of a celebrity. They were his family. And the two people standing next to him—

"I'm going to try to wrangle an exclusive from Wonder Woman now that I've got her here," Lois decided, "Do you think that would be okay?" She didn't wait for an answer before she charged away.

It was just Clark and Bruce standing together now. Clark gently cleared his throat. "I'm glad that you're here, Bruce."

Bruce lifted his head. "Yes, I'm behaving quite nicely."

"…You were right."

"I know."

Clark laughed softly, then grew solemn again. "And I'm sorry for everything I said earlier. I was just upset. I know that that isn't an excuse—"

"Don't worry about it."

"It's just that…" Clark wrinkled his forehead, "You _could_ live a normal life if you wanted to, Bruce. You've got a couple of terrific kids, a steady income, a woman who—"

"We have different ways of coping with loss, Kent," Bruce said brusquely.

Clark nodded. It was a topic that he had tried to venture before, and would most likely breach again. But for now, this much was enough. "Well, _I_ still like you for some reason."

"Charming personality," Bruce grunted in explanation. He looked over at Clark. Frowned a little. But finally managed to say it – "Despite what you or anyone else may think, you'll always be a good person, Clark." Clark wanted nothing more in the world than to give Bruce a hug then, but he didn't, of course. He didn't want to push his unseasonably good luck.

--

Later that night, Ma and Pa were asleep in the guestroom, and Lois had decided to stick around too. Clark had blushed furiously as he had given her his room. He himself decided to sleep on the couch tonight.

But he couldn't fall asleep. He could only count his blessings and think of the future. He had managed to live a week of his life on his own terms in spite of his powers. Who was to say that he couldn't have moments like that in the future? And what the Black Mercy had shown him – maybe he and Lois could start a family some day. They could even adopt. He knew a thing or two about that…

"Kent?" Lois whispered, "Are you awake?"

He opened his eyes to find her standing in front of him in one of his robes. When she saw that he wasn't asleep, she gave a sly grin and loosened the robe to reveal something purple and lacy that made Clark turn bright red.

"Lois!" he exclaimed, "My parents are in the other room!"

"Your parents are a little less conservative than you are, Smallville," Lois assured him with a roll of her eyes as she retied her robe and deposited herself next to him on the sofa. "I honestly don't know why you think there's a difference between you and Superman," she muttered, "No matter what outfit you're in, you're still a goody two-shoes," and promptly pushed herself closer against him so that she could feel his chest move against her back.

"Lois?" he pleaded again, but with much less conviction. He pressed his lips against the back of her head.

Lois gave a triumphant smile, and Clark placed an arm around her waist. "So tell me, _Clark_," she began,

"What did a teenager with Kryptonian DNA and cornfed good looks have to do to get a girl in Smallville?"

"Oh, it wasn't very hard," he played along, "I had a method."

"A method? You don't say. What did you do, take 'em out for root beer floats?"

"Actually, it went a little something like this." He swung Lois in his arms to face him so swiftly that she gasped, and then he kissed her. Sweetly. Firmly.

"Jeez, Smallville," she whistled. She brushed his ever-present curl back from his forehead. "You need to teach me a lot more of _this_ kind of country wisdom."

He smiled at her, his heart's desire.

* * *

**AN**: And they lived happily ever after! I've just started reading the "World of New Krypton" arc and – poor Clark! But if anyone can find a way to juggle a whole mess of identities, it's him. Thanks for reading!


End file.
